Are you thirsty??
Through my studies recently, God has been speaking to me so much about water! He has been emphasizing that Jesus is the fountain of living water, so here are some scriptures that go with my thought process right now.
“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.” (Jeremiah 2:13)
“Jesus answered, ‘Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.’” (John 4:13-14)
“If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” (John 7:37-38)
Many times I have prayed the prayer, “Jesus, I want to be thirstier for you (yes, thirstier is a word) Please make me thirsty!” Even though I believe that this prayer is legit, I feel like God had shifted my focus on that prayer, that it wasn’t quite right. I used to think that if I wasn’t thirsty for him, then I just wasn’t thirsty. See, I think the truth is that I am thirsty; I believe that I’m very thirsty, but I go to other sources for water expecting that it will satisfy.
There seems to be something unique about the water that Jesus has to offer. Jesus’ water offers life, and promises that you won’t be thirsty again. Not only will you not be thirsty again, but you will be so satisfied that it starts bubbling up and overflows like a river from within you. Dang! Seriously, give me this water! That was the plead of the women at the well, and is now mine as well! So maybe if we feel incomplete, inadequate, unfulfilled, unhappy, broken, lacking, insecure, unloved, etc., could we possibly be drinking the wrong source of water? Could we be going to other sources for water outside of Jesus, and we are still left feeling thirsty?
This is the vision I have. I believe it goes all the way back to Eden
“And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground – trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” (Gen. 2:9)
I think that fruit and water is pretty interchangeable, so also is being hungry and thirsty in the bible. I find it beyond interesting that there were two trees in the middle of the garden, the tree of life, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. So could we possibly say that Jesus with the fruit of the spirit was in the middle of the garden, and so was our enemy, Satan, with his fruit? Take that into consideration, metaphorically speaking. So this second tree, it looked good for food, it looked pleasing to the eye, but God told Adam, “Don’t eat of it, or you will surely die!” That sounds like a pretty intense reality check to me. “Don’t eat its fruit Adam! You will die if you eat it!!” To me, that sounds more like, “Kellie! Don’t jump off the cliff Kellie! You will surely die!!” So here is my response, “Geez! God is so controlling!! Who is he to tell me what I can or can’t do!? Jerk! I’m gonna jump!”
So we all know the story, the fruit is eaten. Satan tempted Eve with this fruit that looked real good to the eye. What were they tempted with? Their temptation was to have their eyes opened, to be like God, knowing the difference between good and evil. It seemed good for nourishment, so they went for it. After they ate, their eyes were in fact opened, and they realized that they were naked, so they tried to hide their nakedness and hid themselves from God because they were full of shame.
Could we surmise that the fruit that Satan tempted them with, the fruit that they ate of was poisonous? They ate a poisonous apple that brought sickness and death to their bodies. Something in them died that day. What was God’s response to this? “Who told you that you were naked!?” He immediately recognized that they were lied to. God didn’t tell them that they were naked; they told Him that they were. It seems they then had a very distorted view of good and evil. God said it was good that they were naked, but after eating the fruit offered, they felt as though it was evil. I don’t believe that they even recognized their nakedness until the shame crept in. Could it be that their nakedness represented their unashamed relationship with God? Could being naked in front of God mean being fully open, fully real, fully free in love, and fully vulnerable to him? Like a little child that has no sense of self awareness, they just do everything so unchecked, so sure of themselves; could God desire this kind of confidence with him? It’s not until we are older that the world makes its way into our minds, polluting us, or when Satan starts to lie to us and we believe him, and that is if you were lucky enough to grow up in a healthy home. Back to the point, David danced naked and completely unashamed in worship to God, and he was called a man after God’s own heart. It seems so much more natural to hide from God, to cover ourselves with leaves, the leaves of good works, false humility, you know, putting on the show, or cleaning the outside of the cup? Could we call that legalism? Do you catch what I’m saying? God doesn’t want us to hide. He longs for us to be open and honest with him, because he can’t change us if we aren’t honest with him and with ourselves. So yes, they were naked, but God intended it to be that way, but Satan tempted them into disobedience and filled them with shame of sin, so they became aware of their nakedness and hid.
So after they became aware of their nakedness he said, “Cursed are you!” Again, sounds like a pretty big reality check. “Adam, Eve, you are cursed!” That is not the same as “I CURSE YOU wicked little wretches!” by the way. God was simply stating to them the reality of the consequences of their actions. When you eat a poisonous apple, or when you drink polluted water, the reality of what happens to you are the consequences of sickness and possible death.
So what is the point that I am trying to make? First off, I don’t believe that God ever intended us to know the difference between good and evil. We are so preoccupied with what’s right and what’s wrong, or what’s good and what’s evil, that we can’t even love one another anymore. I believe that eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil gave us permission to come into agreeance with Satan and his lies, choosing for ourselves what is good for us and what is not, and that was never God’s intention for us. Now we have no choice but to discern between good and evil in order to make good decisions for our lives, to come back into agreeance with God. That is what repentance is; it is acknowledging that we have turned from God in our lives and it is coming back into agreeance with him, saying that we agree with him and believe that his way is the best way for us. Repentance leads to obedience, which leads to a restored, free, naked and unashamed relationship with God.
See, when Satan tempts us, he is offering us fruit that looks good to the eye, but when we believe him, when we buy into his lie, when we eat of his fruit, a piece of us dies, and we are filled with shame, so as a result, we hide from God. We separate ourselves from God, from relationship with him. When we are disobedient to God, we are turning away from the reality and truth of this world that God speaks over us, so then we are coming into agreeance with Satan and what he says is good, eating the poison that he feeds us. Disobedience is believing Satan and what he says is good for us over believing God and what he says is good for us. See, I believe that we can choose to eat the fruit of Jesus, from the tree of life, and gain life, or we can eat the poisonous fruit Satan offers and die inside. Disobedience leads to sin, and sin is settling for something less than what God has to offer us.
Faith was what God desired from his people for restored relationship in the Old Testament. Abraham had faith, and it was credited to him as righteousness, but by the time that Moses led the Israelites out of the desert, they had such a distorted view of reality, God had to give the law to them so that they could know again the difference between good and evil. God’s own people didn’t even know anymore, so the law was written to mirror sin. It was meant to bring life, but since we were never meant to discern good from evil in the first place, it only brought death. It is impossible to earn our way back to God, so mankind desperately needed a savior!
Jesus came to restore our relationship back to God! He came in the very image of God, showing us His true character and nature. He came and was filled with grace and truth, that is, unconditional love for mankind and the truth of this world! He came to set us free from the bondage of sin and to lead us back into fully restored relationship with God through grace and truth! Through His finished work on the cross of Calvary, he opened a door for us to walk through, into the Kingdom of the Living God, covered in His blood, and established in righteousness! Believing in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior allows us to boldly approach the throne of God, back in right and perfect standing with Him, as sons and daughters! This is the truth of who we are in Jesus, and Paul has called us to live out what we have already obtained in Christ Jesus, our Lord!!
Jesus has come so that we may have life, and have it to the full! (John 10:10) He has come to break us from the bondage of the reality of this world, and has called us as believers into the reality of heaven and His kingdom! He tells us to put our focus into what is unseen, and that is having faith in Him and what He says to be true! The Kingdom of Heaven is here, and it is our call as the body of Christ, as His hands and feet, to walk out His call on our lives! We have to follow Him! And we can’t do any of this without faith. Ask God to build your faith today! He longs to give you the extreme faith it takes to follow His will for your life. If you’re not seeing miracles in your life, you are not exercising faith. He’s there, waiting, longing for you to come to Him today, right now even.
Two more scriptures:
“As for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it.” John 12:47
“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17
See, Jesus didn’t come to bring judgment on mankind, for He loves us with an inconceivable love! In other words, He has not come to judge the person but to bring justice to the sin! He came to save us from our enemy, from the bondage of sin in this world. I’ll say it again, He has come to bring justice to sin, not to humans. The wages of sin is only death, so believing in Jesus and Jesus alone establishes us in righteousness and into doing the very works of Christ, and even greater things! With Him as our Lord, He leads us out of the death grip of sin and into freedom, and then calls us to do the same! What a privilege! What an honor!! He’s come to deliver us out of the false belief system of this world, into His love, into His truth, so we in turn can turn around and become world changers doing the same for others as He has done for us. When we believe this, when we believe in Him, we are declared as righteous, and sin and death no longer has any reign over us. We are free in Christ! He brings justice to the sin in our lives, casting it out in us and setting us free into eternal life! Hallelujah!!
So my final question is, are you thirsty? If you are looking to any other source to fulfill you outside of Jesus Himself, you will be left empty, wanting more, but never getting enough. If you go after the tempting fruit of Satan, death will enter your body and you’ll be trapped in the bondage of sin in which repentance will be your only way out. Only the work and leading of Jesus in our lives can set us free. Only He gives us living water, the source of life, that will satisfy, fill us, and we will be so overwhelmed by it, it will in turn pour out of us onto others! Thank you Jesus!!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Baptism
I just had the most amazing walk at the beach! Man, God is so good!! Normally I go down to the beach to talk to God about my pain, my hurts, my wounds, etc., but this walk I felt an overwhelming since of peace and lightness, and my prayer reflected it. I was able to focus on practical things, such as money and provision, and well, I’ll just say comparatively very small current things.
I felt God asking me to look at the ocean, and there was a real since of excitement I felt in his voice, like a little kid. In looking at it a felt a reminder coming up, “Look Kellie, see!? Do you remember what happened here just 3 days ago? You were baptized!” It really warmed my heart feeling that it apparently meant a lot to him that I was baptized, because I really never knew how I felt about getting baptized a second time. So I was like, “Yeah God, that was an awesome experience.. such a good day.” And I really did feel warmed at his sweet presence, and I was thankful for that. He wasn’t finished though. He kept going. I felt him pointing at my lightness wanting me to focus on it. Sure enough, revelation hit me in that moment. I haven’t felt heavy inside in three days, and by that I mean I haven’t been struggling with the overwhelming weight of my past.
Okay, so now I’m going to paraphrase what I felt he was telling me:
“Kellie, look out at the ocean. Do you realize what happened out there? Yes, it is symbolic, but it is powerful. You just took part in John’s baptism, that is, the baptism of repentance. I’ve told you this before, ‘Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!’ See how big the ocean is Kellie? That ocean is symbolic of my grace, and your old self has been washed away by my grace. That old you that you struggled with, it is gone. Your past, all the sin of your past, my grace has washed you clean. You don’t feel the weight of your old self anymore because that person is gone and you are a new creation!”
I can’t tell you how powerful that was to me. See, before this, I really did feel the weight of my past. I hate digging it up over, and over, and over again. I hate dwelling in it. I hate feeling like I need years of work, years of inner healing, years of Jesus washing away my sins before I can feel complete and whole again. The work seemed too overwhelming and too tiring. I hate going through every memory feeling like I need to go through it again with the truth of Jesus in order to find healing. I swear that there is a supernatural inner work that takes place in water baptism. It’s like all my sin is totally gone, and that I am a totally new person that doesn’t have to dwell in the past anymore. God has way too much for my future to take all the time to dwell in the past, trying to go back and fix everything that I went through with truth. I’m not saying that he will never take me back from time to time as a reminder of where I‘ve been, but he definitely doesn’t want me to dwell there. I feel light, I feel free! I feel like I’m lacking in nothing! So does that mean that I have been made whole and complete?
Then he asked me to go to the sand where it was still wet from the tide and to start writing in the sand every sin that came to mind. I thought it was odd, especially after everything that he just spoke to me, but I did it anyway. I started writing every sin that came up in my heart that I had formally felt like I still had to deal with and conquer from my past. As I was trying to write all these words in the sand, I noticed that the water underneath the sand made it hard for the words to stick as I was writing them, but finally I stood back and watched a wave completely wash away the rimenence of what was left of the words that I had written. I felt him telling me at that time, “Any time that you have sin in your life from now on, come to me, bring me that sin, and watch it get washed away by my grace, by my unconditional love for you.” I looked up at the ocean with new eyes and saw the ocean as his love and grace for me. The best part is that the waves of his grace never stop coming; they will never stop washing my heart clean. When we are in relationship with him, we get to experience his grace, upon grace, upon grace, upon grace. All we have to do is bring him all the crap that rises out of our hearts, no more digging required. He is so awesome, and his love is huge beyond measure!
I strongly encourage anyone who feels a heaviness from their past, who is carrying around the weight of it on their soldiers, to go get baptized, even if that means that you get baptized again. I believe with all my heart that God wants us to know his heart in baptism, that it isn’t about something we do in order to get into heaven, but it is a symbolic act of understanding his love for us and in understanding the work of the cross. Getting baptized is repentance, and by that I mean a rededication and turning back to Jesus, wanting him to be Lord of your life, and coming back into agreeance with God in knowing that his will in our lives is the only way to abundant life! If you struggle with the guilt of sin or a heavy past of hurt and oppression, let that water of baptism wash it away. I promise you won’t regret it!!
I felt God asking me to look at the ocean, and there was a real since of excitement I felt in his voice, like a little kid. In looking at it a felt a reminder coming up, “Look Kellie, see!? Do you remember what happened here just 3 days ago? You were baptized!” It really warmed my heart feeling that it apparently meant a lot to him that I was baptized, because I really never knew how I felt about getting baptized a second time. So I was like, “Yeah God, that was an awesome experience.. such a good day.” And I really did feel warmed at his sweet presence, and I was thankful for that. He wasn’t finished though. He kept going. I felt him pointing at my lightness wanting me to focus on it. Sure enough, revelation hit me in that moment. I haven’t felt heavy inside in three days, and by that I mean I haven’t been struggling with the overwhelming weight of my past.
Okay, so now I’m going to paraphrase what I felt he was telling me:
“Kellie, look out at the ocean. Do you realize what happened out there? Yes, it is symbolic, but it is powerful. You just took part in John’s baptism, that is, the baptism of repentance. I’ve told you this before, ‘Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!’ See how big the ocean is Kellie? That ocean is symbolic of my grace, and your old self has been washed away by my grace. That old you that you struggled with, it is gone. Your past, all the sin of your past, my grace has washed you clean. You don’t feel the weight of your old self anymore because that person is gone and you are a new creation!”
I can’t tell you how powerful that was to me. See, before this, I really did feel the weight of my past. I hate digging it up over, and over, and over again. I hate dwelling in it. I hate feeling like I need years of work, years of inner healing, years of Jesus washing away my sins before I can feel complete and whole again. The work seemed too overwhelming and too tiring. I hate going through every memory feeling like I need to go through it again with the truth of Jesus in order to find healing. I swear that there is a supernatural inner work that takes place in water baptism. It’s like all my sin is totally gone, and that I am a totally new person that doesn’t have to dwell in the past anymore. God has way too much for my future to take all the time to dwell in the past, trying to go back and fix everything that I went through with truth. I’m not saying that he will never take me back from time to time as a reminder of where I‘ve been, but he definitely doesn’t want me to dwell there. I feel light, I feel free! I feel like I’m lacking in nothing! So does that mean that I have been made whole and complete?
Then he asked me to go to the sand where it was still wet from the tide and to start writing in the sand every sin that came to mind. I thought it was odd, especially after everything that he just spoke to me, but I did it anyway. I started writing every sin that came up in my heart that I had formally felt like I still had to deal with and conquer from my past. As I was trying to write all these words in the sand, I noticed that the water underneath the sand made it hard for the words to stick as I was writing them, but finally I stood back and watched a wave completely wash away the rimenence of what was left of the words that I had written. I felt him telling me at that time, “Any time that you have sin in your life from now on, come to me, bring me that sin, and watch it get washed away by my grace, by my unconditional love for you.” I looked up at the ocean with new eyes and saw the ocean as his love and grace for me. The best part is that the waves of his grace never stop coming; they will never stop washing my heart clean. When we are in relationship with him, we get to experience his grace, upon grace, upon grace, upon grace. All we have to do is bring him all the crap that rises out of our hearts, no more digging required. He is so awesome, and his love is huge beyond measure!
I strongly encourage anyone who feels a heaviness from their past, who is carrying around the weight of it on their soldiers, to go get baptized, even if that means that you get baptized again. I believe with all my heart that God wants us to know his heart in baptism, that it isn’t about something we do in order to get into heaven, but it is a symbolic act of understanding his love for us and in understanding the work of the cross. Getting baptized is repentance, and by that I mean a rededication and turning back to Jesus, wanting him to be Lord of your life, and coming back into agreeance with God in knowing that his will in our lives is the only way to abundant life! If you struggle with the guilt of sin or a heavy past of hurt and oppression, let that water of baptism wash it away. I promise you won’t regret it!!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Rejection
Rejection, how do I even begin? It seems the theme of my life has been that of rejection, and growing up in an environment of conditional love never helped to say the least. I was raised in the most legalistic of churches just to begin. I was utterly rejected in junior-high because I was awkward as an early teen with stories to tell that still break my heart to this day. At age 16 I left the only life I had ever known that was completely entangled in a church community, and my whole family was severely rejected by that whole community. It was then that I was rejected by my extended family and those who helped raise me and loved me until the time we left the church. I was rejected by every friend that I grew up with from the time I was a baby. I went into rebellion and was even rejected by some of my immediate family members. I barely made it through my high school years and then went to college, got in with the wrong crowd, and was rejected by my whole group of friends at the end of four years that led me to an emotional breakdown. I suffer with the worse self-esteem and get mad at myself because I feel so weak. I haven’t understood why I couldn’t just have a good self image, why I couldn’t just love myself; why couldn’t I trust others? Why couldn’t I just toughen up, be strong, and get through life loving myself?
God brought a memory to surface tonight that I stuffed down so deeply, I erased it from my memory because I couldn’t deal with the pain of it, but it was still there, lingering and festering, causing me to interpret my whole world around me from a place of severe wounding. I have been through very dark places in my life, but God never stopped perusing me through it all. The truth is that he always had my heart, but I just couldn’t trust him.
As every memory started coming to mind, one after the other, of times that I my heart was broken from the rejection that I experienced, God started speaking to me, “Kellie, you look at yourself as weak. You don’t like yourself because you don’t understand why you can’t be stronger, or why you can’t have a high self-esteem like others around you. The question that you should ask yourself is this, “How am I so strong?” From the level of rejection and conditional love that you have received, how have you held up under all this weight? Do you know the answer to that question? I’ve carried you. I’ve continually pursued you. I have loved you and held you so close to my heart through all your pain and suffering, that it has been my love that has kept you going, that has kept you from completely buckling under the pressure. My dear, I have seen the suffering that you have endured, and I have seen your heart shattered time and time again. My heart has been broken for you, I have wept with you in your suffering! All your life all I’ve longed for you to turn to me so that I could fill you with my love and restore you back to myself. I want to put the pieces of your shattered heart back together again, to make you whole, complete, and a light to this world. You have been so rejected Kellie because you have always been a carrier of my light, and the dark places you have gone and been to, you were rejected there because darkness hates the light. I came to you and told you to turn from that path, to turn from darkness; I opened your eyes to the reality that you were living in because I love you and wanted you to come back to me. Kellie, you are strong, you have carried so much pain, and look at how beautiful you are still weary one. You have a heart of love and to love others, despite the rejection you’ve been through, and I find that beautiful beyond any measure. You are amazing, and I am so proud of you!
He told me that the story I recently put together from the bible, “My Beloved”, was actually about me, and that I was to take it personally. I went back and read through the whole thing, and could hardly even get through it. I saw the whole story through new eyes. It was my life.. it was me. I couldn’t even believe it.
This is the God that I now know I serve. He is soooooooooooooooooooooooo good! He is beautiful and loving beyond measure! I always thought that he barely tolerated my sin, and that he was sick of having to redeem my life time and time again. I always felt that if I pushed him just a little farther, he would surely finally wash his hands to me. I just saw him as constantly frustrated with me. Now I have found the opposite of that to be true. He has a heart that is desperately in love with us, and his heart breaks when ours gets broken. He isn’t mad at our brokenness, but instead is broken-hearted because of our brokenness, and longs to restore us and make us whole again, if only we would turn to him. Every time that I even slightly turned back to him in my life he would shower me with his love, mercy, and grace. How about this: even when I was not seeking him and purposefully turned my back to him, he opened my eyes to see the reality that he saw, desperately trying to pull me back to him. His love is so beautiful that our human minds can’t even comprehend it! I’m madly in love with him, and I KNOW that all of us would be if we only truly knew his heart!
God brought a memory to surface tonight that I stuffed down so deeply, I erased it from my memory because I couldn’t deal with the pain of it, but it was still there, lingering and festering, causing me to interpret my whole world around me from a place of severe wounding. I have been through very dark places in my life, but God never stopped perusing me through it all. The truth is that he always had my heart, but I just couldn’t trust him.
As every memory started coming to mind, one after the other, of times that I my heart was broken from the rejection that I experienced, God started speaking to me, “Kellie, you look at yourself as weak. You don’t like yourself because you don’t understand why you can’t be stronger, or why you can’t have a high self-esteem like others around you. The question that you should ask yourself is this, “How am I so strong?” From the level of rejection and conditional love that you have received, how have you held up under all this weight? Do you know the answer to that question? I’ve carried you. I’ve continually pursued you. I have loved you and held you so close to my heart through all your pain and suffering, that it has been my love that has kept you going, that has kept you from completely buckling under the pressure. My dear, I have seen the suffering that you have endured, and I have seen your heart shattered time and time again. My heart has been broken for you, I have wept with you in your suffering! All your life all I’ve longed for you to turn to me so that I could fill you with my love and restore you back to myself. I want to put the pieces of your shattered heart back together again, to make you whole, complete, and a light to this world. You have been so rejected Kellie because you have always been a carrier of my light, and the dark places you have gone and been to, you were rejected there because darkness hates the light. I came to you and told you to turn from that path, to turn from darkness; I opened your eyes to the reality that you were living in because I love you and wanted you to come back to me. Kellie, you are strong, you have carried so much pain, and look at how beautiful you are still weary one. You have a heart of love and to love others, despite the rejection you’ve been through, and I find that beautiful beyond any measure. You are amazing, and I am so proud of you!
He told me that the story I recently put together from the bible, “My Beloved”, was actually about me, and that I was to take it personally. I went back and read through the whole thing, and could hardly even get through it. I saw the whole story through new eyes. It was my life.. it was me. I couldn’t even believe it.
This is the God that I now know I serve. He is soooooooooooooooooooooooo good! He is beautiful and loving beyond measure! I always thought that he barely tolerated my sin, and that he was sick of having to redeem my life time and time again. I always felt that if I pushed him just a little farther, he would surely finally wash his hands to me. I just saw him as constantly frustrated with me. Now I have found the opposite of that to be true. He has a heart that is desperately in love with us, and his heart breaks when ours gets broken. He isn’t mad at our brokenness, but instead is broken-hearted because of our brokenness, and longs to restore us and make us whole again, if only we would turn to him. Every time that I even slightly turned back to him in my life he would shower me with his love, mercy, and grace. How about this: even when I was not seeking him and purposefully turned my back to him, he opened my eyes to see the reality that he saw, desperately trying to pull me back to him. His love is so beautiful that our human minds can’t even comprehend it! I’m madly in love with him, and I KNOW that all of us would be if we only truly knew his heart!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
“My Beloved”
I am currently working with a Christian organization who longs to bring freedom to those caught in the web of sex slavery. There are currently approximately 27,000,000 people who are victims of human trafficking, in a 31 billion dollar industry, and over 75% of them are used as sex slaves. For the past two months I've been working with others to put a traveling art show together, and for my part of the presentation I painted a piece and I will be sharing this story that I assembled straight out of the books of Lamentations and Isaiah in the Bible. The last paragraph is an expression of my heart! I know in writing this I connected to it so deeply on a soul level, as I think everyone can. These are words straight up out of the bible, so everyone should connect to them in their own life and heart! I love you guys!!
She who was queen among provinces has now become a slave. Bitterly she weeps at night. Among all her lovers there is none to comfort her, all her friends have betrayed her, and have become her enemies. They looked at her and laughed at her destruction.
All who honored her despise her, for they have seen her nakedness; she herself groans and looks away. Her filthiness clings to her skirt; she does not consider her future.
“Look, O Lord, on my affliction, for the enemy has triumphed!”
The enemy has laid hands on all her treasures; pagan nations enter her sanctuary, those who had been forbidden to enter. She barters her treasures for food to keep herself alive.
“Look, O Lord, and consider, for I am despised!”
For this is why her tears flow like a river day and night. No one is near to comfort her, no one to restore her spirit. Her groans are many and her heart is faint.
All who passes her way clap their hands at her; they scoff and shake their heads at the daughter of Jerusalem. Wasn’t she the one that was called perfection of beauty, the joy of the whole earth?
Her enemy has walled her in so she cannot escape; he has weighed her down with chains. He has made her path crooked. Like a bear lying in wait, like a lion in hiding, he dragged her from her path, mangled her, and left her without help.
He drew his bow and made her the target for his arrows. He has broken her teeth with gravel and has trampled her in the dust. Her heart is now filled with bitter herbs.
So she says, “My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord!”
She was brighter than snow and whiter than milk, her body more flush than rubies, her appearance like sapphires. But now she is blacker than soot; she is not recognized in the streets. Her skin has shriveled on her bones.
She can no longer hear the music. Joy is gone from her heart. Her dancing has turned to mourning, and because of these things her eyes grow dim. Her wound is as deep as the sea, who can heal her?
Her heart cries out to the Lord:
“You, O Lord, risen forever, your throne endures from generation to generation. Why did you forget me? Why do you forsake me so long? Restore me, O Lord, unless you have utterly rejected me!”
The Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all who call on him! How gracious he is when he hears a cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer.
This is his heart’s cry:
“Woe to those who make unjust laws, to those who issue oppressive decrees, to deprive the poor of their rights and withhold justice from the oppressed!”
The Lord longs to be gracious to those who cry for help; he rises to show them compassion.
Hear the cry of the Lord’s heart for his beloved!
“I am your redeemer, who formed you in the womb! Turn to me and be saved; for I alone am God, there is no other! I will shield and deliver you, I will pass over and rescue you. Be strong, do not fear; I will come with vengeance; with divine retribution I will come to save you. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear, I will help you. I will lead you by ways you have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide you; I will turn the darkness into light before you and make the rough places smooth.
Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine, and are precious in my sight. Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. I will restore you! I will rebuild you!
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. I will make your deserts like Eden, your wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in you, thanksgiving and the sound of singing!
For your sake I will not keep silent, for your sake I will not remain quit, till your righteousness shines out like the dawn and your salvation like a blazing torch. I will not forsake you!
This is our Lord’s heart for the world:
“I, the Lord, love justice! My justice will become a light to the nations. My righteousness draws near speedily, and my salvation is on the way! The cowering prisoners will soon be set free; they will not die in their dungeon!
You heavens above, rain down righteousness; let the clouds shower it down. Let the earth open wide, let salvation spring up, for I, the Lord, have created it!”
There is hope!! There is hope for the prisoners and the oppressed! The hope is in the Lord, the savior and redeemer of this world!! He longs to bring justice to the world, to those who are entangled in the web of slavery, and even to those who have thrown themselves into rebellion against God, but Jesus says the workers are few. He is the head, and we are the body - his hands and feet. He longs for those who are willing to go and do his work. He is waiting for us to say, “Not my will God, but yours be done!” God knows how to get the work done, and he longs to bring justice to the nations, but he needs us. He has given us that authority. Are you willing to do your share? Are you saying yes to God and his plans for you, to bring justice to the nations?
Righteousness
Wow! I’ve come back to feeding on milk in this season that is essential to coming into maturity in Christ. The milk is so good, and it has never looked like this before. Here it is, essential Christianity
Through our faith in Jesus Christ we have been made righteous in the eyes of God. Christian religion makes us believe that we have to climb the latter of good works in order to obtain God, but in fact that is a lie that the enemy has implanted in our heads because it is devastating to the truth! Legalism in Christianity is no better than any other false religion out there!!
Through Christ’s sacrifice for us, we have been justified back to God through faith in him. We have been made righteous in the eyes of God, through Jesus' blood, and our sins no longer hold us back from intimate relationship with our living God. Whenever we feel like we are lacking in our lives, or that our sins and brokenness keeps God frustrated and angry with us, that is when we are buying into the lie of our enemy. By looking at our dead man, we can’t see who we are in the eyes of God. We are righteous, and even if we have made our bed in hell, God is with us and sees us as righteous. He said he would never forsake us, and he absolutely will not. How many know that even in an extreme season of sin in your life, God was still there chasing you down? God is not mad at us, but instead is madly in love with us. When we are focused on ourselves and who we were before Christ, and when we are focused on our sins and areas where we lack, we are being tossed about by waves and are unstable, because we are consumed with all the areas where we are broken and don't measure up to perfection. When we focus on who we are in Christ, that we look like Jesus in the eyes of God, we are stable, mature, and cannot be swayed. We need to be focused and consumed with the truth of the reality of who we are in our new creation, because only then does our old nature completely fall away.
Here are some basic facts that I got from listening to John Sheasby:
Statements on the word of righteousness = being justified through faith, being reestablished back to the Father in right position with him, we have peace with God through Jesus, we are righteous in His sight, standing in the right place with God, trusting in the blood of Jesus only, we no longer have to get there… This is the GOOD NEWS of the gospel!!
"People with character flaws are still righteous, thank God, or we would all be in serious trouble, so have mercy on one another, because God has been so merciful to us."
"Jesus perfectly obeyed the law on our behalf, so we are no longer held to the law but are instead established in the righteousness of Christ. He did all the work for us!"
"The glory of God shows up best in the worst of circumstances; the light shines best in the dark."
So here we are, co-heirs with Christ, he was the first born of many brothers, and we are in the same standing with God as Jesus so that we can boldly approach His throne. The Lord is our helper, so in every circumstance our needs are provided for. The enemy loves to come and make circumstance in our lives that makes us doubt the presence of God in our lives, and makes us doubt the truth that He will always fulfill our needs. That was the original sin in the garden that resulted in the fall of mankind; the enemy spoke words of doubt to Eve about the character and nature of God, that He fills us and takes care of our every need and that he knows what is best for us. He attacked the very identity and truth of who they were in God, and instead made them believe that they were lacking. Doubt led to disbelief in who God said he was, and who we are in him, and we are still believing that lie to this day. We are righteous in the eyes of God and he will fill our every need and bless us beyond measure, but we have to rebuke the work of Satan in our lives and we have every right and ability to do so, because Jesus did so, and he is living in us. So let’s rebuke the work of the enemy in every area of our lives! Let’s break his power over our minds by proclaiming the truth that we are righteous in the eyes of God and God is our provider and the Lord is our helper and that he no longer has any power over us! He is under our feet and God is in control of our lives, so let’s rebuke him in every area that he has ever cast doubt in the character and nature of God. He has no dominion over us by the Spirit of Christ living in us, and we are fully reconciled to God, and God will meet our every need! Don’t we know that with Christ dwelling within us that we will never go hungry? That we never have to worry about provision because He will always take care of us as sons just as he took care of Jesus? When we have doubt in our hearts, it crowds out any room for faith, and if we had the full faith to know who we are in Christ, then we would never have doubt again.
So let’s stop looking at the areas where we lack, where we don’t measure up, where we feel incomplete, and let the truth sink in that our Father see’s us as his son Jesus Christ. He has come to meet us right where we are at, and we have that special anointing to be just like our favorite rabbi Jesus, and through that faith we have the ability to stomp on our enemy and do the work of Christ, and have the same exact relationship with God that Jesus had.
Through our faith in Jesus Christ we have been made righteous in the eyes of God. Christian religion makes us believe that we have to climb the latter of good works in order to obtain God, but in fact that is a lie that the enemy has implanted in our heads because it is devastating to the truth! Legalism in Christianity is no better than any other false religion out there!!
Through Christ’s sacrifice for us, we have been justified back to God through faith in him. We have been made righteous in the eyes of God, through Jesus' blood, and our sins no longer hold us back from intimate relationship with our living God. Whenever we feel like we are lacking in our lives, or that our sins and brokenness keeps God frustrated and angry with us, that is when we are buying into the lie of our enemy. By looking at our dead man, we can’t see who we are in the eyes of God. We are righteous, and even if we have made our bed in hell, God is with us and sees us as righteous. He said he would never forsake us, and he absolutely will not. How many know that even in an extreme season of sin in your life, God was still there chasing you down? God is not mad at us, but instead is madly in love with us. When we are focused on ourselves and who we were before Christ, and when we are focused on our sins and areas where we lack, we are being tossed about by waves and are unstable, because we are consumed with all the areas where we are broken and don't measure up to perfection. When we focus on who we are in Christ, that we look like Jesus in the eyes of God, we are stable, mature, and cannot be swayed. We need to be focused and consumed with the truth of the reality of who we are in our new creation, because only then does our old nature completely fall away.
Here are some basic facts that I got from listening to John Sheasby:
Statements on the word of righteousness = being justified through faith, being reestablished back to the Father in right position with him, we have peace with God through Jesus, we are righteous in His sight, standing in the right place with God, trusting in the blood of Jesus only, we no longer have to get there… This is the GOOD NEWS of the gospel!!
"People with character flaws are still righteous, thank God, or we would all be in serious trouble, so have mercy on one another, because God has been so merciful to us."
"Jesus perfectly obeyed the law on our behalf, so we are no longer held to the law but are instead established in the righteousness of Christ. He did all the work for us!"
"The glory of God shows up best in the worst of circumstances; the light shines best in the dark."
So here we are, co-heirs with Christ, he was the first born of many brothers, and we are in the same standing with God as Jesus so that we can boldly approach His throne. The Lord is our helper, so in every circumstance our needs are provided for. The enemy loves to come and make circumstance in our lives that makes us doubt the presence of God in our lives, and makes us doubt the truth that He will always fulfill our needs. That was the original sin in the garden that resulted in the fall of mankind; the enemy spoke words of doubt to Eve about the character and nature of God, that He fills us and takes care of our every need and that he knows what is best for us. He attacked the very identity and truth of who they were in God, and instead made them believe that they were lacking. Doubt led to disbelief in who God said he was, and who we are in him, and we are still believing that lie to this day. We are righteous in the eyes of God and he will fill our every need and bless us beyond measure, but we have to rebuke the work of Satan in our lives and we have every right and ability to do so, because Jesus did so, and he is living in us. So let’s rebuke the work of the enemy in every area of our lives! Let’s break his power over our minds by proclaiming the truth that we are righteous in the eyes of God and God is our provider and the Lord is our helper and that he no longer has any power over us! He is under our feet and God is in control of our lives, so let’s rebuke him in every area that he has ever cast doubt in the character and nature of God. He has no dominion over us by the Spirit of Christ living in us, and we are fully reconciled to God, and God will meet our every need! Don’t we know that with Christ dwelling within us that we will never go hungry? That we never have to worry about provision because He will always take care of us as sons just as he took care of Jesus? When we have doubt in our hearts, it crowds out any room for faith, and if we had the full faith to know who we are in Christ, then we would never have doubt again.
So let’s stop looking at the areas where we lack, where we don’t measure up, where we feel incomplete, and let the truth sink in that our Father see’s us as his son Jesus Christ. He has come to meet us right where we are at, and we have that special anointing to be just like our favorite rabbi Jesus, and through that faith we have the ability to stomp on our enemy and do the work of Christ, and have the same exact relationship with God that Jesus had.
Godhead
Today we had a speaker come in that started talking about the character and nature of God. This man is a truly inspiring individual and already my eyes have been opened so much! There were a few things discussed today that I really wanted to share…
The Trinity
This subject has always been taboo in my life as well as in Christianity as a whole. I know that everything that I have ever heard and learned about the Godhead never really sunk in and made since to me, and the subject has never become practical to my life. This view, on the other hand, makes so much sense to me and I feel like it has opened my eyes so much!
God is made up of three distinct personalities, or distinct characters: God (the Father), Jesus, and the Holy Ghost. So, there are three distinct personalities, but they are all somehow one. I have heard many analogies of this in the past, a couple being a man can be all son, father, and husband at the same time, but he is still one; or I have also heard that an apple is one as a whole, but also has a core, the meat, and then the skin, all serving different functions. I’m not saying that there isn’t any truth to these analogies, but I can honestly say that still nothing clicked within me. I didn’t understand why Jesus would pray to his father, and relate that to me as a daughter praying to myself as a mother.
Here is what our teacher taught today. You might want to at least take it into consideration.
The Trinity are all made up of the same ‘substance’ so to speak, but are not the same being, but they are exactly united in mind and spirit. In being one, they are inseparable, co-existent, and co-eternal. The trinity also does not operate as a hierarchy but as all equal. To better imagine the separation of the three all at once is in the baptism of Christ. Try and imagine the picture of God in the flesh, Jesus, coming up from baptism. There he was in the water, with the Holy Spirit descending on him like a dove, and a voice coming out of Heaven speaking out saying, “This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Can you see all three of them at once? They are all different persons, and they all have different roles.
The best way to describe this 3 in one is it is like an ultimately united community. Jesus prayed a prayer over his disciples in John, “that they may be as one as we are one.” Imagine only three of the disciples, all called humankind, but are all meant to serve different functions. The only straight way to explain it is that Jesus, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit are all not each other, but they are all God.
Here are 3 statements that help to show the function of each character, and how to apply them to our everyday lives.
3 statements
• God is Spirit – Holy Spirit (the transporter or messenger between heaven and earth)
• God is Light – Jesus (the word in flesh)
• God is Love – Father (foundation of creation and supreme ruler over the universe)
All too often, many individuals and churches as a whole will lean too much on one personality of God, while missing out on the perfect balance on the 3 personalities of God. I have to admit, before coming to DTS, I leaned way too much solely on God the Father and his love, feeling the love of the world and the love of mankind, kind of much like the hippies, while missing out on Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We need to know all 3 personalities to lead a true Christian life. In throwing out Jesus and the Holy Spirit, I have been a struggling Christian consequently.
Here is a further note:
There is an essential problem in believing in the doctrine of "twoness" If we just believe that the Holy Spirit is some random godly ghost that is a gift sent to us by God that is supposed to only help us and guide us, then we don't believe that the Spirit of God is actually living and dwelling within us. The trinity is the belief that God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are all God, but they are different, individual, separate beings of God with different essential functions and roles in making up the Kingdom of God. So all three actually make up God. We have to know that God, or that the Spirit of God, actually lives in us in order to be set free. The Holy Spirit isn't just some gift of a holy guidance counselor coming to dwell with us, it is the very spirit of God, and Christ living in us! That means we are just like Christ in the eyes of God the Father. Isn't that a HUGE difference. The bible says that we as the church and as individuals are temples of God, or dwelling places of God, so to take care of our bodies, right? That means that God is in us!
The Trinity
This subject has always been taboo in my life as well as in Christianity as a whole. I know that everything that I have ever heard and learned about the Godhead never really sunk in and made since to me, and the subject has never become practical to my life. This view, on the other hand, makes so much sense to me and I feel like it has opened my eyes so much!
God is made up of three distinct personalities, or distinct characters: God (the Father), Jesus, and the Holy Ghost. So, there are three distinct personalities, but they are all somehow one. I have heard many analogies of this in the past, a couple being a man can be all son, father, and husband at the same time, but he is still one; or I have also heard that an apple is one as a whole, but also has a core, the meat, and then the skin, all serving different functions. I’m not saying that there isn’t any truth to these analogies, but I can honestly say that still nothing clicked within me. I didn’t understand why Jesus would pray to his father, and relate that to me as a daughter praying to myself as a mother.
Here is what our teacher taught today. You might want to at least take it into consideration.
The Trinity are all made up of the same ‘substance’ so to speak, but are not the same being, but they are exactly united in mind and spirit. In being one, they are inseparable, co-existent, and co-eternal. The trinity also does not operate as a hierarchy but as all equal. To better imagine the separation of the three all at once is in the baptism of Christ. Try and imagine the picture of God in the flesh, Jesus, coming up from baptism. There he was in the water, with the Holy Spirit descending on him like a dove, and a voice coming out of Heaven speaking out saying, “This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Can you see all three of them at once? They are all different persons, and they all have different roles.
The best way to describe this 3 in one is it is like an ultimately united community. Jesus prayed a prayer over his disciples in John, “that they may be as one as we are one.” Imagine only three of the disciples, all called humankind, but are all meant to serve different functions. The only straight way to explain it is that Jesus, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit are all not each other, but they are all God.
Here are 3 statements that help to show the function of each character, and how to apply them to our everyday lives.
3 statements
• God is Spirit – Holy Spirit (the transporter or messenger between heaven and earth)
• God is Light – Jesus (the word in flesh)
• God is Love – Father (foundation of creation and supreme ruler over the universe)
All too often, many individuals and churches as a whole will lean too much on one personality of God, while missing out on the perfect balance on the 3 personalities of God. I have to admit, before coming to DTS, I leaned way too much solely on God the Father and his love, feeling the love of the world and the love of mankind, kind of much like the hippies, while missing out on Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We need to know all 3 personalities to lead a true Christian life. In throwing out Jesus and the Holy Spirit, I have been a struggling Christian consequently.
Here is a further note:
There is an essential problem in believing in the doctrine of "twoness" If we just believe that the Holy Spirit is some random godly ghost that is a gift sent to us by God that is supposed to only help us and guide us, then we don't believe that the Spirit of God is actually living and dwelling within us. The trinity is the belief that God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are all God, but they are different, individual, separate beings of God with different essential functions and roles in making up the Kingdom of God. So all three actually make up God. We have to know that God, or that the Spirit of God, actually lives in us in order to be set free. The Holy Spirit isn't just some gift of a holy guidance counselor coming to dwell with us, it is the very spirit of God, and Christ living in us! That means we are just like Christ in the eyes of God the Father. Isn't that a HUGE difference. The bible says that we as the church and as individuals are temples of God, or dwelling places of God, so to take care of our bodies, right? That means that God is in us!
God is GOOD!!
Man, God is so GOOD!! I was just in San Francisco this last week and now I have a new heart for that beautiful, amazing city. God met us there in such an incredible way, blessing us with his daily presence, sending us love notes from heaven. I’m sorry if I seem on cloud 9, but in fact, that is where I am!
Being in Discipleship Training School has been one crazy roller coaster ride. I’ve had some real lows, and then normally followed by a real high. I’m all over the map, but the highs are getting higher and the lows are becoming a necessity. I find myself somewhat looking forward to those lows in some strange way, knowing God is walking me through a trial that will force me and stretch me into growth. My faith and trust is really starting to all lean on Him now, and it is the best feeling in the world, even though I still get scared that He will leave me to just topple over; but that is not the character and nature of our amazing God, and I can trust in that.
God has been speaking to me in such a powerful way that I can feel his breath on my face. He is so close right now, and I am cherishing every moment of it because I know that there comes times in our walk when he hides his face from us. I haven’t felt this close to God since Italy. So, what is it that I’m learning during this season???
I’m learning to not focus on the things that are seen, but in what is unseen, because that is where reality lies. Jesus tells us that the things of this world are of the world, and the things that are not of this world, the things of the Kingdom of God, are unseen. That is where faith has to step in so much. The good news is that God even shows himself to us in seen things, such as nature and creation; thank God for that, because without his physical presence in what’s seen, this earth would look like a glimpse of Hell!
God is revealing to me the importance of the cross. He is showing me the importance of fully dying to ourselves so that He may live through us. See, if we are on the throne of our own lives, then we are all about our needs, our wants, our desires, and even our own rights! It’s me, me, me, me, me! When our lives are about what we want, it is actually separation from God. We focus on ourselves, and our broken and sinful in nature. We are naturally selfish creatures because of the fall, and God has been trying to pull us back into relationship with him ever since. Here is another thing.. Religion is trying to work our way up to God, but relationship is God coming to meet us right where we are. There is a HUGE difference. Even as Christians, we are so focused on ourselves. One thing that seems to be “good,” but in fact is very damaging, is that as Christians we are very sin conscience. We focus so much on our sin and our brokenness, that we continue to feel incomplete and a mess, and it becomes a hopeless and defeating situation. We focus on where we are inadequate and where we don’t measure up to any of God’s standards instead of realizing what Christ did on the cross for us. See, when we put our hope and salvation in Christ, we died with him on the cross. Who we were in our old nature is completely dead! Our old sinful nature is gone and dead, so every sin past, present and future is nailed to the cross with our dead bodies. So we died with Christ, were buried with him, and rose again with him. That is what the representation of baptism is, it is symbolic of our death, burial and resurrection with Christ. So when we die, we also rise again. We now have the Holy Spirit in us, which is Christ’s spirit, and he now lives in us and wants to live through us. We have the same anointing and power that Christ had on earth. We are now co-heirs with Christ, and we are meant to live our lives through the power of his spirit! Jesus told us that we would even do greater things than he did, and that anyone born again of the spirit that is living in the reality of the kingdom of God is even better than John the Baptist! Now that is truly remarkable! So here we have all this anointing and power within us, here we are, God’s children in his living Kingdom, and we are all still oppressed by our old nature and the things that are seen. We are oppressed by the ruler of this world, and not living in and walking out the truth of what is in the unseen. So here we are sin conscious, focused on our dead man nailed to the cross, looking at the places where we fall short and are broken and are inadequate, and it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy. See, if we focus on the unseen, that is the work that lies within us and in who we are, plugged into Christ, co-heirs with him, then we will truly come alive in Spirit and the old nature will completely fall away. Being in relationship naturally works the crap out of us and then fills us again with the very things of God. It becomes a natural process instead of having to work for it, that is only when we are focused into who we truly are. When we die to our needs, wants, plans, desires, and even to our rights, we then come alive to God’s will for our lives, and it is only then that our lives become transformed into the image of Christ. For example, did you know that nothing you own is actually yours? EVERYTHING we own and are possessive of actually belongs to God. We are possessing God’s property, and we are to do with those things as God pleases. That means your car, your home, your clothes, your MONEY, your food, your jewelry, your every single thing. Yes, they are all gifts to us from our great provider, but if he tells you to give, then you give without question. It’s not about giving your 10% anymore, it is giving your 100%. Jesus didn’t give 10% to God, he gave his everything to God, to do with his belongings and possessions as God wanted. We have to break the spirit of poverty, that is clinging on so tightly to what we have out of fear of your needs not being met. We should come into the full realization that when we cling to what we have, then we can’t empty our hands to make them open for what God has in store for you. Don’t you know that God will never leave you hanging? When he asks you to give, he will meet your needs with greater things than what we had before. It’s an exercise of faith, so again, we have to focus on the unseen realities of this world. If we budget God in, then we have no faith or trust. It’s an extreme way of living, but it is the only way to live. It brings you into relationship with our living God, and you will then see miracles and major transformation in your life! So when God asks you to give a car he provided for you, then you give the car with great expectation that God will fill and meet that or some other need in your life in an amazing and miraculous way! God is AWESOME, and when you exercise faith, he will never let you down! Exercising your faith is like working a muscle, it is so hard and can even hurt at first, but the more and longer you do it, the stronger that muscle grows, until before you know it, you wouldn’t ever live back in a spirit of poverty again. Do you see where that forces you into a trusting and faith building relationship with God? I’m telling you that it is in all reality a truly exciting and amazing way to live because you get to witness miracles in your life, and if you aren’t witnessing miracles in your life, then you aren’t living and operating in faith! And it is ok to give with expectation of receiving, because when you come to God with great expectation, you are expecting him to fulfill his promises and to be working on his half of the relationship, and trust me, he will never let you down. He always fulfills his promises!
I don’t really know how I got into all that, but I think the original point was that we are to be living in relationship with God and putting our faith and trust into those things that are unseen. I’ve finally come to a place in being here of completely laying my life down, to the very best of my ability, dying to myself and what I want, so that God can come in and take over what He wants to do with my life. Christians are so resistant, so he is forced into slowly stripping away those things from us because we are clinging on so tightly to our needs, wants, plans, and rights so it becomes this slow process of change because God is working on his end of the deal, he is working in his end of the relationship, but we are not working in ours. So instead of God having to force us into a spirit of humility and brokenness, we all need to come to him humbled in knowing that we have no idea what is best for our lives. That’s why so many have to finally hit a place of rock bottom before they come into relationship with God, because God can only work in those who are humbled and broken, because it is only then that we are fully willing to die to ourselves and give our all to God. When pride and selfishness is working in us, then we are absolutely incapable of listening to God, so God has to bring us to our knees in humility so that we may finally seek his face and want to come to him knowing we don’t know anything about this world and what is best for us. Isn’t that so good?? That God, in all of his love for us, strips us bare and brings us to a place of humility and brokenness so that we may finally know him, love him, and long to be in relationship with him? Isn’t that the most loving thing that he can do? Thank you Jesus that in all of your love for me that you brought me to this humble place!! He truly does use the fools of this world, because every person that worships worldly wisdom and money and every other worldly god has no humility. Any time that we trust in ourselves and our own capability, we are in a very bad place because we are telling ourselves that we don’t need God. We are to trust in God and God alone. We are to never trust in false idols, such as money, or in ourselves and our abilities because then we are not trusting God!
Wow, I didn’t expect to get into all that. I hope that is ok. I guess to finish off, I am in a good place, and I’m finally dying to myself and letting God in to work through me by the power that is at work within me. I’m experiencing Jesus being activated and coming alive within me, so that he lives through me. I have found that that is truly the only way to come to a place of fulfillment, worth, and identity. In dying to myself, I’m no longer worried about what others think of me and whether they judge me or not because I have died to my insecurities and rights to being known and understood. I don’t need to be understood anymore. I don’t need to feel important anymore, because what is truly important is my relationship with God and his working through me. Everything else just seems to fall in place after that. It is a wonderful feeling. It is beyond awesome to get your vision off of this cruel, ugly world and instead on to Jesus and his kingdom, because nothing is more beautiful than that. Nothing fills me with more love than staring up into heaven at my Father. Good is soooooooooo GOOD, and soooooooooooooooo LOVING!! I can’t express that enough!!! I love you guys so much, and mean that from the bottom of my heart!
Kels
Being in Discipleship Training School has been one crazy roller coaster ride. I’ve had some real lows, and then normally followed by a real high. I’m all over the map, but the highs are getting higher and the lows are becoming a necessity. I find myself somewhat looking forward to those lows in some strange way, knowing God is walking me through a trial that will force me and stretch me into growth. My faith and trust is really starting to all lean on Him now, and it is the best feeling in the world, even though I still get scared that He will leave me to just topple over; but that is not the character and nature of our amazing God, and I can trust in that.
God has been speaking to me in such a powerful way that I can feel his breath on my face. He is so close right now, and I am cherishing every moment of it because I know that there comes times in our walk when he hides his face from us. I haven’t felt this close to God since Italy. So, what is it that I’m learning during this season???
I’m learning to not focus on the things that are seen, but in what is unseen, because that is where reality lies. Jesus tells us that the things of this world are of the world, and the things that are not of this world, the things of the Kingdom of God, are unseen. That is where faith has to step in so much. The good news is that God even shows himself to us in seen things, such as nature and creation; thank God for that, because without his physical presence in what’s seen, this earth would look like a glimpse of Hell!
God is revealing to me the importance of the cross. He is showing me the importance of fully dying to ourselves so that He may live through us. See, if we are on the throne of our own lives, then we are all about our needs, our wants, our desires, and even our own rights! It’s me, me, me, me, me! When our lives are about what we want, it is actually separation from God. We focus on ourselves, and our broken and sinful in nature. We are naturally selfish creatures because of the fall, and God has been trying to pull us back into relationship with him ever since. Here is another thing.. Religion is trying to work our way up to God, but relationship is God coming to meet us right where we are. There is a HUGE difference. Even as Christians, we are so focused on ourselves. One thing that seems to be “good,” but in fact is very damaging, is that as Christians we are very sin conscience. We focus so much on our sin and our brokenness, that we continue to feel incomplete and a mess, and it becomes a hopeless and defeating situation. We focus on where we are inadequate and where we don’t measure up to any of God’s standards instead of realizing what Christ did on the cross for us. See, when we put our hope and salvation in Christ, we died with him on the cross. Who we were in our old nature is completely dead! Our old sinful nature is gone and dead, so every sin past, present and future is nailed to the cross with our dead bodies. So we died with Christ, were buried with him, and rose again with him. That is what the representation of baptism is, it is symbolic of our death, burial and resurrection with Christ. So when we die, we also rise again. We now have the Holy Spirit in us, which is Christ’s spirit, and he now lives in us and wants to live through us. We have the same anointing and power that Christ had on earth. We are now co-heirs with Christ, and we are meant to live our lives through the power of his spirit! Jesus told us that we would even do greater things than he did, and that anyone born again of the spirit that is living in the reality of the kingdom of God is even better than John the Baptist! Now that is truly remarkable! So here we have all this anointing and power within us, here we are, God’s children in his living Kingdom, and we are all still oppressed by our old nature and the things that are seen. We are oppressed by the ruler of this world, and not living in and walking out the truth of what is in the unseen. So here we are sin conscious, focused on our dead man nailed to the cross, looking at the places where we fall short and are broken and are inadequate, and it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy. See, if we focus on the unseen, that is the work that lies within us and in who we are, plugged into Christ, co-heirs with him, then we will truly come alive in Spirit and the old nature will completely fall away. Being in relationship naturally works the crap out of us and then fills us again with the very things of God. It becomes a natural process instead of having to work for it, that is only when we are focused into who we truly are. When we die to our needs, wants, plans, desires, and even to our rights, we then come alive to God’s will for our lives, and it is only then that our lives become transformed into the image of Christ. For example, did you know that nothing you own is actually yours? EVERYTHING we own and are possessive of actually belongs to God. We are possessing God’s property, and we are to do with those things as God pleases. That means your car, your home, your clothes, your MONEY, your food, your jewelry, your every single thing. Yes, they are all gifts to us from our great provider, but if he tells you to give, then you give without question. It’s not about giving your 10% anymore, it is giving your 100%. Jesus didn’t give 10% to God, he gave his everything to God, to do with his belongings and possessions as God wanted. We have to break the spirit of poverty, that is clinging on so tightly to what we have out of fear of your needs not being met. We should come into the full realization that when we cling to what we have, then we can’t empty our hands to make them open for what God has in store for you. Don’t you know that God will never leave you hanging? When he asks you to give, he will meet your needs with greater things than what we had before. It’s an exercise of faith, so again, we have to focus on the unseen realities of this world. If we budget God in, then we have no faith or trust. It’s an extreme way of living, but it is the only way to live. It brings you into relationship with our living God, and you will then see miracles and major transformation in your life! So when God asks you to give a car he provided for you, then you give the car with great expectation that God will fill and meet that or some other need in your life in an amazing and miraculous way! God is AWESOME, and when you exercise faith, he will never let you down! Exercising your faith is like working a muscle, it is so hard and can even hurt at first, but the more and longer you do it, the stronger that muscle grows, until before you know it, you wouldn’t ever live back in a spirit of poverty again. Do you see where that forces you into a trusting and faith building relationship with God? I’m telling you that it is in all reality a truly exciting and amazing way to live because you get to witness miracles in your life, and if you aren’t witnessing miracles in your life, then you aren’t living and operating in faith! And it is ok to give with expectation of receiving, because when you come to God with great expectation, you are expecting him to fulfill his promises and to be working on his half of the relationship, and trust me, he will never let you down. He always fulfills his promises!
I don’t really know how I got into all that, but I think the original point was that we are to be living in relationship with God and putting our faith and trust into those things that are unseen. I’ve finally come to a place in being here of completely laying my life down, to the very best of my ability, dying to myself and what I want, so that God can come in and take over what He wants to do with my life. Christians are so resistant, so he is forced into slowly stripping away those things from us because we are clinging on so tightly to our needs, wants, plans, and rights so it becomes this slow process of change because God is working on his end of the deal, he is working in his end of the relationship, but we are not working in ours. So instead of God having to force us into a spirit of humility and brokenness, we all need to come to him humbled in knowing that we have no idea what is best for our lives. That’s why so many have to finally hit a place of rock bottom before they come into relationship with God, because God can only work in those who are humbled and broken, because it is only then that we are fully willing to die to ourselves and give our all to God. When pride and selfishness is working in us, then we are absolutely incapable of listening to God, so God has to bring us to our knees in humility so that we may finally seek his face and want to come to him knowing we don’t know anything about this world and what is best for us. Isn’t that so good?? That God, in all of his love for us, strips us bare and brings us to a place of humility and brokenness so that we may finally know him, love him, and long to be in relationship with him? Isn’t that the most loving thing that he can do? Thank you Jesus that in all of your love for me that you brought me to this humble place!! He truly does use the fools of this world, because every person that worships worldly wisdom and money and every other worldly god has no humility. Any time that we trust in ourselves and our own capability, we are in a very bad place because we are telling ourselves that we don’t need God. We are to trust in God and God alone. We are to never trust in false idols, such as money, or in ourselves and our abilities because then we are not trusting God!
Wow, I didn’t expect to get into all that. I hope that is ok. I guess to finish off, I am in a good place, and I’m finally dying to myself and letting God in to work through me by the power that is at work within me. I’m experiencing Jesus being activated and coming alive within me, so that he lives through me. I have found that that is truly the only way to come to a place of fulfillment, worth, and identity. In dying to myself, I’m no longer worried about what others think of me and whether they judge me or not because I have died to my insecurities and rights to being known and understood. I don’t need to be understood anymore. I don’t need to feel important anymore, because what is truly important is my relationship with God and his working through me. Everything else just seems to fall in place after that. It is a wonderful feeling. It is beyond awesome to get your vision off of this cruel, ugly world and instead on to Jesus and his kingdom, because nothing is more beautiful than that. Nothing fills me with more love than staring up into heaven at my Father. Good is soooooooooo GOOD, and soooooooooooooooo LOVING!! I can’t express that enough!!! I love you guys so much, and mean that from the bottom of my heart!
Kels
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